The Struggles of Saying Goodbye at Friendly's

The Struggles of Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never really easy, well okay, maybe sometimes it's not all that hard to just say "PEACE OUT SUCKA" and never see a person again, but there are some people where saying goodbye is almost impossible, but a necessity. I have the hardest time with my boyfriend, Aaron.

Aaron and I have been together now, as of Jan 20th, five years. Of course there is a lot of history there and I am not going to go through our entire story right here, right now. Currently we go to separate colleges. I am in Potsdam, NY, and he is in Syracuse, NY, which is roughly 3-4 hours apart from each other. I have two jobs at school where it is a necessity to work weekends with one, and Aaron is a bunk-in at a firehouse and is on call many days so visits are rare, but the entire highlight of my school year. Even worse is the fact that this semester's breaks do not match up for either of us.

Knowing these things already had me on edge the entire winter break. I tend to fret and worry about things outside of my control. Of course I just continued to give myself anxiety throughout the entire break instead of enjoying the present. Granted we had an awesome winter break together. We got to visit Aaron's sister and adorable niece in Virginia where we got a quick break from the snowy north country, we spent Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years with each other and our families, had a free getaway in one of the largest rooms available at the Great Escape Lodge and Water Park, went to see Anchorman 2 (which sucked), and spent several other days together watching Netflix and pigging out on all kinds of foods.

Finally the day came where I had to leave. I said goodbye to my parents, dog, and cried when I hugged my sister, who literally is one of my best friends. I thought maybe I had gotten my tears out then and there, but of course I was wrong. 

Aaron, then, told me to follow him. I figured he would lead me to Dunkin' Donuts where we would get our usual caramel vanilla swirl iced coffee with cream and sugar alongside a boston cream donut. I was wrong. He led me to Friendly's for a nice little goodbye breakfast.

I got hot chocolate, with whipped cream of course, a waffle with strawberries( and more whipped cream) and sausage. Aaron, being Aaron, got a breakfast with everything (coffee, pancakes, eggs, home fries, sausage...). Typically it is customary for me to nibble away at his home fries... but my ketchup was banished to being placed on the side since Aaron will only eat them plain. We were just having small talk when of course I just burst into tears before breakfast was even brought to the table.

We could both feel the entire restaurant staring at our table. It was clear they felt that he had broken up with me over breakfast or said something to upset me (granted breakup pancakes do seem like a decent peace offering). We even noticed an increase in the waitress checking in ("Is everything okay...?), probably intent on stopping any domestic dispute that may have happened. It was just awkward and I felt like people were staring at us nonstop. Leave it to me to cause a scene.

We ate our breakfast and left over a 20% tip. Hopefully the waitress at that point had dismissed the idea of Aaron being an abusive partner. At least I left with a smile on my face (mostly because I was thinking of how ridiculous the whole situation was).

Finally we hugged and said our first goodbyes outside of our cars.

Then our second goodbyes as I started crying and weaseled my way into his passenger seat.

Then our third goodbyes through the windows with tears coming from both parties.

Then our fourth goodbyes as we both pulled out of the parking lot and turned our separate ways at the the stop light (me left and him right).

Who ever said that each year the distance would get easier lied. Each year, each semester, each month, each week, each day... I miss him more and more and the distance just suffocates me. I can't wait until we both have graduated school and can finally be together after ( what will be) over six years later. I can't wait to prove to all of the people wrong that said we would never last through college. They also said we wouldn't make it through high school either. When you love someone, distance doesn't stop you, although I won't sugarcoat it... distance sucks, big time. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but when you've found that special person, love becomes about sacrifice, and crying at Friendly's. 

The Struggles of Demons and Desserts

Demons and Desserts

So, I don't know exactly what goes on after death, whether there is an after life or not is a mystery to me. I would like to believe that there is a Heaven and that we don't just all wind up rotting in the ground. 

I have always been skeptical on the whole "spirit" thing. I enjoy watching Long Island Medium where this lady claims to talk to dead spirits. It seems legit, but we all know how reality televisions shows really are run, and how people from Long Island can be... lol! 

I am pretty sure... almost 97.6374895% positive, that my house may be haunted. I am not sure if it is a good or bad energy, but I think it is living in our home. The whole thing just gives me the heebie-jeebies! My parents think I am crazy, and my sister does too (for the most part).

At home, I typically am the one who stays up the latest. My family typically passes out anywhere between 8:30PM-10:30PM, but I, on the other hand, have always had a hard time sleeping... but this problem only occurs in my own house. I can sleep fine alone at my apartment at school, at friends' houses, and at my boyfriend's house. At home I just get these vibes that are unexplainable. 

Yes, our house is old. It's cold, creeks in the night, and makes other weird noises, but something just feels off... 

Last summer my sister, Amber Mae, would turn her fan on, but mysteriously is kept turning off, although there was nothing wrong with the power. Yes there are many possibilities, but I attribute this to our ghost. I feel like everything happens in my sisters room. Her room is next to mine and I swear I hear things through the walls.

She also witnessed a very odd event last summer as well. She even agrees something was up... She was in her room and the door just slammed shut. The wind, yes, may have closed it, but it would've had to be a pretty strong gust, but what happened next was even creepier. The door handle started to jiggle as if someone was turning it. She thought it was me trying to get in her room and I could hear her yelling at me... although I was outside getting something out of my car.

Amber also does weird things in her sleep. She talks a lot. Many times she will start screaming people's names. Many times calling for my mother, but he never recalls it... and if you wake her up she acts very nasty and just screams at you, and again, never remembers it. She must be possessed deep down. I think it causes her stomach problems since nothing else the doctors can find can come up with an explanation.

I many times will sleep with her in her bed now since I feel so freaked out at night alone in our house. To be honest, I have not slept once in my bed over this break. I have slept with her every night. Sometimes I wake up and she is just staring at me. I try to wake her up, but she just keeps staring and then will turn over. She never remembers it in the morning. Possessed for sure. 

But something the other day made me sure that there is something in our home. My father travels often for work and he ended up being stranded in an airport in Indiana over night and joking around he brought us airport souvenirs! He brought my sister an airport sugar cookie and me an airport biscotti! He set them on the table and the next day I decided I wanted my gosh darn biscotti! ... but it was MISSING! 

Everyone agrees that they say it on the table. My mother claims she didn't move it and everyone says they did not eat it. There is no other explanation except for ghosts. Some paranormal being has decided to tick me off and eat/ hide my airport biscotti and that is just not okay with me. Please, if anyone knows where my biscotti is, contact me. I pray that my biscotti return unharmed and in one piece. There is no reward.

New Year Resolution Progress

I have stayed under my 1800 calorie limit for the day and I exercised on the elliptical for 30 mins. I will not be able to officially weigh my self until I return back to school where my trusted scale is! I, also, did not swear at all today (that I can recall) which is great progress.

Recent Art Work

Can anyone guess who this is!? 

Is there a famous celebrity you'd like to see me draw?

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