The Struggles of Saying Goodbye at Friendly's

The Struggles of Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never really easy, well okay, maybe sometimes it's not all that hard to just say "PEACE OUT SUCKA" and never see a person again, but there are some people where saying goodbye is almost impossible, but a necessity. I have the hardest time with my boyfriend, Aaron.

Aaron and I have been together now, as of Jan 20th, five years. Of course there is a lot of history there and I am not going to go through our entire story right here, right now. Currently we go to separate colleges. I am in Potsdam, NY, and he is in Syracuse, NY, which is roughly 3-4 hours apart from each other. I have two jobs at school where it is a necessity to work weekends with one, and Aaron is a bunk-in at a firehouse and is on call many days so visits are rare, but the entire highlight of my school year. Even worse is the fact that this semester's breaks do not match up for either of us.

Knowing these things already had me on edge the entire winter break. I tend to fret and worry about things outside of my control. Of course I just continued to give myself anxiety throughout the entire break instead of enjoying the present. Granted we had an awesome winter break together. We got to visit Aaron's sister and adorable niece in Virginia where we got a quick break from the snowy north country, we spent Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Years with each other and our families, had a free getaway in one of the largest rooms available at the Great Escape Lodge and Water Park, went to see Anchorman 2 (which sucked), and spent several other days together watching Netflix and pigging out on all kinds of foods.

Finally the day came where I had to leave. I said goodbye to my parents, dog, and cried when I hugged my sister, who literally is one of my best friends. I thought maybe I had gotten my tears out then and there, but of course I was wrong. 

Aaron, then, told me to follow him. I figured he would lead me to Dunkin' Donuts where we would get our usual caramel vanilla swirl iced coffee with cream and sugar alongside a boston cream donut. I was wrong. He led me to Friendly's for a nice little goodbye breakfast.

I got hot chocolate, with whipped cream of course, a waffle with strawberries( and more whipped cream) and sausage. Aaron, being Aaron, got a breakfast with everything (coffee, pancakes, eggs, home fries, sausage...). Typically it is customary for me to nibble away at his home fries... but my ketchup was banished to being placed on the side since Aaron will only eat them plain. We were just having small talk when of course I just burst into tears before breakfast was even brought to the table.

We could both feel the entire restaurant staring at our table. It was clear they felt that he had broken up with me over breakfast or said something to upset me (granted breakup pancakes do seem like a decent peace offering). We even noticed an increase in the waitress checking in ("Is everything okay...?), probably intent on stopping any domestic dispute that may have happened. It was just awkward and I felt like people were staring at us nonstop. Leave it to me to cause a scene.

We ate our breakfast and left over a 20% tip. Hopefully the waitress at that point had dismissed the idea of Aaron being an abusive partner. At least I left with a smile on my face (mostly because I was thinking of how ridiculous the whole situation was).

Finally we hugged and said our first goodbyes outside of our cars.

Then our second goodbyes as I started crying and weaseled my way into his passenger seat.

Then our third goodbyes through the windows with tears coming from both parties.

Then our fourth goodbyes as we both pulled out of the parking lot and turned our separate ways at the the stop light (me left and him right).

Who ever said that each year the distance would get easier lied. Each year, each semester, each month, each week, each day... I miss him more and more and the distance just suffocates me. I can't wait until we both have graduated school and can finally be together after ( what will be) over six years later. I can't wait to prove to all of the people wrong that said we would never last through college. They also said we wouldn't make it through high school either. When you love someone, distance doesn't stop you, although I won't sugarcoat it... distance sucks, big time. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but when you've found that special person, love becomes about sacrifice, and crying at Friendly's. 

The Struggles of Packing for Break

The Struggles of Packing for Break

I find packing to be frustrating and fun at the same time. To me it is like a game. How much crap can you fit into one container!? I am not master at packing but I have slowly over the years been decreasing my luggage with each trip. Winter break is always the trickiest since there is a whole month that most students are home and they tend to bring half of their dorm room with them. I figured I would put together some suggestions for packing... just because.

Things to Bring

Toothbrush. A toothbrush normally is an item forgotten. I have a toothbrush at home and in my apartment so that way I never have this problem.

Underwear. That doesn't mean as many as you brought to school. Bring about a weeks worth. You can always do your laundry at home. There is no point in bringing more than you need, unless you constantly crap your pants... then you might want to bring some extra pairs or invest in diapers.

Bras (for ladies). Pick a regular bra, strapless, and a sports bra. That is all you should really need. This way you have all of your options open for various outfits.

Pants. Honestly I only bring two pairs of jeans home which consist of my nice, clean skinny jeans, and the other being my old, ratty, ripped "art/work" jeans for dirty jobs. You can always re-wear your jeans multiple times without washing them so you can get a good week's use out of them. A comfy pair of sweatpants is nice too.

Sweatshirts. I bring two hoodies typically, because, like jeans, they can be re-worn multiple times without looking like a dirt bag, plus it's chilly in the winter time. 

Shirts/ Tank Tops. I usually bring two of each. Again, you want to minimize your load. You are an adult so you can just do your laundry twice over break.

Socks. I bring about a five pairs of socks.

Shoes. I bring a pair of snow boots, nicer "dress boots", and a pair of heels home, plus slippers. Technically the heels aren't necessary, but just incase any modeling opportunities come up it is good to have them on hand!

Hat and gloves. It's winter so a pair of gloves and a hat should always been in your car for traveling purposes anyways!

Formal Attire. I normally try to being something that is a little more dressy for occasions when my family may go out to dinner or if I have a date night with my boyfriend. 

Medicine. Any medicine that you take on a daily basis like vitamins or (for girls) birth control! <---- Don't wanna forget that!

Contacts and Glasses. Being blind for a month would probably blow for those who need corrective lenses... if forgotten you better start learning how to read braille! 

Deodorant. Don't sweat it! ;) (How punny)

Shampoo or conditioner or body wash. Only bring these things if they are not found at home. If not lighten your load by leaving them behind!

Hairdryer/ straightener. Only bring if necessary. There are extras in my home.

Hairbrush. No one likes a ragamuffin or dreads that aren't intentional... 

Tampons/ Pads (for girls... I hope...). Chances are you are going to hit that time of month. Thank mother nature for ruining a week of your break.

Laptop. If you forget this, the robots might take over.

There may be some other things you may want to pack, but this is the majority of it. You wanna keep a light load. This should fill up maybe a bin or a couple bags which is not too bad to carry back and forth. Plus since it will be the holiday season, you will be bringing back more (such as gifts and parents that like to send goodies back home with you).

Things Not to Bring

Fish. If you have fish at your place, try to get an automatic feeder. I have fish and they are the most pain in the butt thing to transport back and forth. Of course depending on dorm restrictions it is impossible to avoid. I ended up leaving my big aquarium of fish in my apartment and taking my separate goldfish home. Be sure to put new batteries in your feeder before you go (don't use an electric plug in feeder incase of power outages). I didn't and I lost a fish. Poor thing starved to death. RIP Clark the Rainbow Shark. 

TV. There is no reason that you need to lug a television back and forth with you. I see kids do this all the time. Many times they get scratched, broken, etc when being transported. Every home nowadays, on average, have more than one television. Use one of the TVs you have at home. It may actually force you to socialize with your family. 

Multiple gaming systems. If you have multiple gaming systems and you can't live without your electronics, pick one! Also, don't bring back every game you own. Choose your top three. You will be really upset when you make your way back to school and forget to bring your entire stash of games!

Alcohol/ Drugs. Granted many college students are under 21 and shouldn't have these things... but cops know when schools have their breaks and they patrol the roads more. I see many students that get pulled over for speeding and it turns into a big mess. Sometimes we have Boarder Patrol that stops cars to decrease drug trafficking with dogs on site. It would be a bad way to start break by getting arrested or fined. 

Musical Instruments. Unless you are a hardcore player, leave them at school. I always want to bring my guitar and when I do I only end up playing it three times, if that.

Cash. A decent/ reasonable amount of money is good to have on hand, but don't bring it all with you. You don't want to end up spending all your money on break. We are poor college students and need to save up as much money as we can. If you have extra money, open up a savings account and put it in there if you haven't already.

Recap

Just be sure to pack as light as possible. The less to bring back the better, plus if you are carpooling with someone else, you want to be sure to save room for others that are traveling along. The only extra stuff you should bring home is if you have items in your dorm or clothing that you originally packed and realized is just taking up space. If that is the case bring it home and leave it home, this way there will be less to bring back home at the end of the school year.

I hope this helped! Feel free to comment on things I may have missed or suggestions of your own!

The Struggles of Earning a Good GPA

The Struggles of Earning a Good GPA

So everyone asks me, how do you have such a high GPA? Well now I am finally going to write down my strategy for all to see. I do warn you that it is not an easy way out to earn a good grade. It will take lots of work and time on your part, but in the end it is worth it, and I guarantee that you will see great results and learn much more from your classes.

University and Me

I wanted to start out by telling you about my schooling. I currently have a double major in art education and psychology with a minor in art therapy. My GPA is currently a 3.88 and the lowest grade I earned was a 3.3 once. The rest have been all 4.0's with a few 3.7's. I attend SUNY Potsdam and am about to finish my junior year.

I highly suggest parents making their children help pay for school. A child should be invested in their education. It is motivation to continue to learn, since many students end up dropping out or barely scraping by. I am responsible for paying for my entire education,  groceries, gas, etc... I really do think that the personal investment has helped me strive to do the best I can since it's my own money I am spending.

I normally overload or max out my credits for each semester while having two part time jobs so the excuse "I don't have time" does not work because I have been able to do well with that heavy work load and I know other people can do it too. 

This is how I manage my time and get the grades I do... I hope you can take something away from all of this... 

Basic Materials

These are the things I highly recommend having each semester:

- a single subject notebook for each subject

     OR

  a big binder with dividers for each subject along with loose leaf paper

  (this option is good for people who have trouble organizing their work. This way you need to   remember only one major thing, besides text books, to bring to class)

-pens (blue and black)

-pencils

- folder with multiple pockets 

 (label each section with your different subjects and keep important papers here) 

 OR

 (hole punch the papers into your big binder)

-highlighter 

- download the app "Evernote" 

 (It is free and a great place to type notes. This app is used for the desktop, but can be connected to any Android or iPhone device to look through notes on the go!)

-planner

In Class

Sit in the front of class. You will pay attention more and the teacher will notice you. If you are a struggling student it will pay off having the professor see you put in as much effort as possible. Also, always sit in the SAME seat. Studies show that consistency is key. Your mind may remember particular information better by sitting in the same place in that class. 

Do NOT have your phone out. I have noticed that many kids, even if they were not texting, still had their phones out and turned down on the tops of their desks. Put the darn thing on silent (or turn it OFF) and away in your bag! This way it will be less of a distraction and, again, I feel like it will looked better in front of an instructor. 

Take notes. Don't just sit and listen. Memory fades over time. Trust me. I know. We have been conducting studies in several of my psychology classes. I recommend in your notebook (or binder) using a black pen to take class notes. Always start on a new page for each class and label the date somewhere towards the top.

Talk to the teacher. If you have questions about the lecture or homework, always stop and talk to the teacher. Make a point to go to their office hours at least once. Also, you can always say good bye when walking out of class. Your teachers are people too!

Read the syllabus. Most colleges require a syllabus or outline of the semester. Normally many assignments, papers, exams, and more are clearly written out. Do not be caught off guard when a teacher starts talking about a paper that is due in a week! If it is the syllabus it is fair game. The teacher technically doesn't have to tell you about it. It is your duty as a student to read through it. If there are any questions or confusion, contact your teacher.

Go to class!!! Many students forget this rule. There are many reasons to go to class and you really should strive to go every single day. You are paying for college and each day you miss is money thrown away. There is information that will be missed which may be key for papers, tests, and quizzes. Many teachers have a policy of 3 missed classes then automatic failure or grade deductions. That is something to look for in the syllabus, but again, save those days for sickness because they will not have mercy on you after you break their attendance policy! Plus, if you are failing a class and haven't been attending class, the teacher is not going to have any sympathy. If you are at least in class and struggling, most teachers are happy to help. I have found that some teachers will give out extra credit on days that many people skip which many be a saving grace for some students!

Do your homework and assignments! Homework usually has a decent percentage of your grade and is great practice for tests and quizzes. If you feel you are struggling this is also another point when you may want to contact a teacher, teacher's assistant, or tutor for some additional help. 

Make a friend. It's good to make a new friend in your class. This way if you are out sick, he or she can lend you the notes that were missed, plus you have a study buddy! Exchange cell numbers or add each other on Facebook, BUT do not misuse your classroom friend. Do not continue to skip classes and rely on him or her for notes and constantly bug them for answers on homework you do not feel like doing or procrastinated on. 

Write your assignments down. Have a planner. Write down assignments and know when they are due. Write in test dates ahead of time that way you will not forget!

At Home

Plan ahead. Look in your planner and put boxes next to assignments that you should finish for the day. This helps to prioritize and create goals. When you finish an assignment put a check in the box and cross out that assignment. This helps to show you what work has been finished and what work still needs to be completed.

Do the homework. Don't be lazy. Do your homework to the best of your ability and don't procrastinate. If you are reading a very long chapter, I suggest breaking the chapter up into smaller sections to read. I tend to watch tv, as a break, and then during the commercials I will mute the tv and read/ take notes.

READ. When you are assigned a reading assignment or recommended chapters to review, DO IT. You bought that $100+ text book so you might as well use it and learn as much as you can!

Take notes. Take notes on your reading assignments. I tend to use blue in for my reading assignments. This way in a notebook (or binder) it is easier to tell which notes are from class lectures and which ones are from home. Try to keep some sort of organization in your notes. I recommend writing the chapter number and title at the top. I then continue my notes my making headers for sections and writing any relevant facts as bullets below them. ALWAYS copy down the vocabulary words and the definition the book gives you. Underline vocabulary that way it stands out. 

     Chapter 18: Substance Abuse

     What is the difference between Abuse and Addiction

• tolerance: (insert definition)
• alcohol is a drug

Type your notes. Using Evernote, type up bother your class notes and book notes. Evernote is easy to use and you can create multiple notebooks to stay organized. Your notes are automatically saved and can be seen when downloaded to your smart phone or tablet on the go. It is a free app that I have been using for three years now and it really has made all of the difference. Typing your notes helps improve your memory and recall of information later on tests.

STUDY. Study whenever you can and don't wait a day before the test. I have a two step procedure for studying. First I take time to make a study guide. I look over my notes on Evernote and copy and paste information I think is relevant in a separate document. Many teachers will give you a guideline of what will be on a future test. This is where Evernote kicks butt! You can type in the search bar terms and it will find that word for you in your typed up notes which makes it much easier to find, copy, and paste that information into your study guide. After making your study guide, make flash cards for each of your bullets on the guide. Making the study guide and flash cards in its self is another way to enhance your memory recall skills. Of course, in-between classes and at home, review your flash cards. It is also hand to have a printed version of the study guide at hand to leaf through when you have down time in-between classes as well or to quickly look up a fact. Be sure to keep your study materials throughout the entire semester because they may come in handy for midterms and finals! 

Test Taking

Of course I recommend studying, as I had stated above. Most tests you will take will consist of multiple choice. Always bring a pencil to fill out the bubble sheet. I also like to bring a pen, normally blue to contrast the black ink of the test, and a highlighter. 

If the professor lets you write on the test booklet, DO IT. Read a question. Highlight the important part whether it be a key phrase or something that may stick in your mind. Think of a potential answer ahead of time and write it down if you can remember with your pen. Then look through your options and cross out any information you find to be incorrect. Circle the best answer (hopefully it was close to what you had in mind) and write the number/ letter next to the question number.

I like to do the entire test first with my method of highlighting and writing in pen before I bubble in my answer sheet, but filling it in as you go is not a bad idea either.

Use the test against itself. Many questions on the test will actually lead you to a right answer on another section of the test to keep your eyes open. I like to put a star next to questions I am unsure of because of this that way at the end of the test I can go back and make a decision.

Be sure to watch your time, but most students rush and finish too quickly. Don't make a mistake because you are rushing. Many teachers will allow you extra time so there is no need to feel rushed.

And I feel bad I need to even mention this... but it still happens... be sure to bubble/ write in your NAME on your answer key (and booklet if necessary). 

Have Fun

Remember to have fun. School should be your priority, but everyone needs some time to relax and let loose. Just remember to keep your priorities straight. If you work on a paper well in advance, you will never find yourself in a situation where you had to skip the semester's best party to pull an all-nighter! Get together with friends and do an hours worth of good work on a Friday afternoon and then go out and have fun! That way you can't say you didn't do anything all weekend! ;)

Recap

As you can see there is quite a bit of work I put into my studies. This work pays off though. You will see your GPA increase and you will also be retaining much more information that should be knowing for your job field. Pass this onto other students to help them realize their full potential and maybe find something to take away from this article!

If you have any questions on other topics that I may have skipped over, feel free to contact me at misskrystalynn93@gmail.com! I wish everyone a successful next semester!